I won’t hesitate no more, no more

Up bright and early, bags packed, and a nice walk to St. Louis Street—-past the street cleaners and sweepers, preparing for the weekend crowds—to pickup my rental car. On the way, I help some grateful tourists find their way to Toulouse Street. I got a little turned around when I first got here too, I tell them. They ask how long I’ve lived here? I laugh, I live in Seattle, I’m just visiting. They ask the typical questions (how long are you here, how did you manage that, what do you do for a living? Oh, that sounds wonderful!) I pretend to pinch myself and tell them that sometimes I can’t believe it’s real either, but I’m trying to make the most of it, while I have this arrangement. At a street corner in New Orleans, Louisiana, we talk about Thailand, Africa and other interesting places to travel before heading our different ways.

It’s sunny, perfectly warm. It’s one of those days where I feel like I’m walking in a sunbeam. The world smiles at me and I smile warmly back, as I skip along, down the bumpy, winding Rue Royal. That happy little pop tune of Jason Mraz blares from a shop and I can’t help but pick it up and sing-hum-harmonize long after I cross St. Ann’s and past the store. So I won’t hesitate no more, no more, it cannot wait, I’m sure there’s no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate…

He’s standing outside a restaurant, turquoise-blue tie, talking to another man. Stops. Smiles. You, my de-eah, beautiful voice. Let’s start a band, darling! You’ll sing.

I laugh/blush my way down the street. I didn’t realize I’d not hesitated for one moment and was singing so audibly. But there it was. I shrug my shoulders and smile widely!

Oh, that smile to go with it. It’s like the heavens spilled wiiide open. But you a-ah a pretty one, at that! Yes ma’am, you a-ah!

It makes me happy to hear the compliment, freely given. I think of all the radient sunsets I've watched over the last couple days. Brilliant gold and rose spilling through the darkest clouds. Strong and gentle, timeless. Beautiful. I’ve never liked being called ma’am, until that very moment, in that tone, with that honesty, with that reverence – I decided I could get used to it.